MASH
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: Darcy and Jane are bored one night and decide to play a couple of children's games. Only they might not be actually "playing" after all. Oneshot.


"You know, I figured after we met Thor that meant the end to spending nights out in the desert." Darcy looked at Jane and rolled her eyes as she watched the older woman make a few notations in her notebook. Jane, as always, just ignored her, waving her off with a flick of the wrist.

Darcy really wasn't expecting the woman to act any differently, hell she already knew what Jane would say anyway. It wasn't like they hadn't spent every night the same way since Thor left. Still, Darcy was bored. Their equipment hadn't picked up on anything in days, and there were no new equations for her to occupy her mind.

Ignoring the frustrated sighs of her friend and boss, Darcy continued to scribble on the piece of paper that she stole from Jane's bag.

"What are you doing?" Fed up with her lack of results, Jane closed her notebook and moved to sit in the front seat next to her assistant.

"M.A.S.H." Closing her eyes, Darcy made several little slash marks on her paper before looking down at them and counting.

"Mash?" Jane looked down at the paper, having to take another look after she saw both Thor and Loki's names.

"Yeah, you know, mansion, apartment, studio, house? Come on Jane, I know you were a bit of a sheltered child, but surely you played M.A.S.H. in school?" Darcy thought every girl knew how to play, it was sort of a rite of passage, or some other shit. She used to play for hours with her cousins in the summer, coming up with some of the wildest futures for herself.

"Well, apparently not. How do you play?" Jane shuffled a little in her seat. It wasn't so much that she was sheltered, but she guessed there were things she just sort of blew off growing up because of her passion for science.

"Well, every girl has their own set of categories, my cousins and I at one time created a game with over a hundred. But let's just stay simple right now." Darcy grabbed a new piece of paper and scribbled once more down on it and handed it to Jane.

"For each category write four things and then hand it back to me." Darcy watched as Jane quickly finished and took the paper, only to roll her eyes.

"Jane, you can't write down Thor four times in the category for husband."

"Well, I don't want anyone else." Jane crossed her arms over her chest, huffing as Darcy erased three of the 'Thors' she had written down.

"I don't care, now let's see; Thor, of course. Who else, we should have a celebrity; oh I know, you always go bright red when we watch Two Towers, so how about the actor that plays Eomer? Iron Man, just because, and…."

"No, Darcy, are you crazy? Don't put down Loki!" Jane tried to grab the paper, but Darcy just stuffed it behind her.

"Hey, it's a game of chance, not much fun unless there is a risk. Now sit down and let's play." She pulled the paper back out and smoothed it down.

"Good, now I'm going to make slashes and you tell me when to stop. And NO counting!" Darcy laughed as Jane huffed again and sat back.

Once Jane said stop, Darcy tallied up the marks and went to work on figuring out Jane's future. When she was done she looked up and bit her lip.

"What? What is it Darcy?" Darcy just handed her the paper and shrugged her shoulders at Jane's wide-eyed look.

"Ok, so translate this for me." She handed the paper back.

"Well, you are going to marry L-Loki, your bouquet will be pink roses and baby's breath, you are going to live in a house, have six children and drive a horse and cart. Hey, don't look at me like that! I've been getting Loki too, no matter how many times I do this." She picked up several papers she had worked on earlier in the night and thrust them at Jane.

"This is just silly Darcy." Jane tossed the papers between the two of them. Darcy had been right, each and every one of them had Darcy paired with Loki. Some of them had been most assuredly NOT a children's game. It seemed her assistant had found a way to make the kids game a little more grown up. Jane blushed at a few of the results; she hadn't realized Darcy was that kinky.

"Fine, let's try something else. Here." Darcy reached into her bag, grabbing for the bit of paper she had folded earlier in the day. It was a little bit of preparation for the night, knowing she would be bored out of her mind.

"What is that? It looks like a puppet or something." Jane glanced at the folded something in Darcy's hand. She vaguely remembered the girl's in her grade school playing with them at lunch, but she had never been interested enough to ask them what they were doing.

"It's another fortune telling game, only I sort of made this one an Asgardian edition. Come on Jane, it is so boring out here I might just murder you in order to break the monotony." Ok, maybe not murder her, but she would start to throw things at her; pencils, paper clips, chewed gum, and the like.

"Fine, how is this one played?" Jane looked down at the large piece of paper in Darcy's hand. The thing actually looked like a garish pink sand worm mouth, with the names of Norse gods written on the side.

"Alright, pick a god." Darcy held out her hands and rolled her eyes once again when Jane picked Thor. Again she asked Jane to pick a name scribbled on one of the inside corners, and then once more before lifting the flap of the corner. And then quickly flipping it down again without reading out what was inside.

"That was it? Come on, what was written in there?" Jane had an awful feeling she knew just by the look on Darcy's face, but her curiosity was getting to her and she really wanted to know.

Darcy blew out a breath and opened the flap again.

"Your Prince will come for you within the week, whisking you away to Asgard where you will spend your days making 'the beast with two backs' with the Prince of Mischief." Darcy cringed at her own writing, though she was actually glad Jane hadn't seen the one she had written for Thor. She probably should have made a new one, because now that she thought about everything she wrote in there, she remembered it had been for her own perverted mind.

"Darcy!"

"What, I only wrote one of those for Loki! It's not as if I harboring some infatuation for him. Though it is really weird, all night everything has always landed on Loki. It's kind of weird actually."

Darcy and Jane looked down at the paper, both of them trying it again and again, hoping to get a different result, they never did. Their preoccupation was so great, that neither of them noticed when the equipment began to pick up readings.

* * *

Loki smiled and walked away from the glittering pool. Children's games indeed.

* * *

Author's Note: So….this is a plot bunny that attacked me today. I was hanging out with my Da and Grandma and Grandma started talking about how she used to fold her notes in class in order to pass them, I said it looked a lot like the footballs that the boys at lunch used to make and that led into talking about M.A.S.H. and even my Da folding me one of those little fortune things…(which I know have on my entertainment center just because.) And I had this image of Darcy and Jane playing M.A.S.H. and Jane trying to put Thor on it four times. The bunny grew and grew, and so here you have it, Loki is plotting to have both Jane and Darcy for his own.

This is of course not Thor 2 compliant as I have still yet to see the movie. And I fear I won't until it goes on dvd.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


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